Thursday Could be Sunday
Enjoy this sample of my novel:
Thursday Could be Sunday is my novel in progress. Below are the first six chapters for you to enjoy. Please send me any comments you have. If you would like to be updated as to my progress, please subscribe.
Chapter 1
When my manager, Tim called me into his office, told me` how well I was doing and how much I contributed to the team, the last thing I expected was that the company was laying me off. They eliminated my position. In fact, the guy from the mail room was on his way over to my desk to drop off some boxes so I could pack my stuff. Surprise!
Understandably, I was surprised. There was more work than my team could handle. I was speechless and angry. No. Pissed off. Why me, I thought? An older woman close to retirement. Did they know how difficult it would be to get another job? How come they didn’t pick one of the younger guys who could easily get a job in the Bay Area?
“I’m sorry,” I heard my boss saying to me. I had already tuned him out but then thought better of it. “You have excellent skills and are very dedicated.”
I couldn’t care less what he was saying because it was all a bunch of lies. Or he was inept. The company I worked for had a propensity for cutting the staff when their bottom line didn’t make the stockholders happy. Last year they blamed it on marketing. Everyone knew it was because the VP of Sales had cut his staff in half. Then he replaced them with temps and then proceeded to implement some very expensive software that nobody used.
I said to my boss, “I understand,” to get him to stop talking, tuning out his ridiculous reasoning. “I’ll survive. It’s you guys I feel sorry for. I work sixty to seventy hours a week, including weekends, and someone else will have to pick up the slack when I leave. I’d be happy to teach Al what I do. He’s a fast learner, and I have a lot of documentation in the team directory. It won’t take more than a couple of hours.” I knew that my buddy Al would be burdened with my extra work, making life more difficult for him.
Tim smiled sheepishly and said, “That would be great. You have such a positive attitude about this. I thought you would be more upset.”
I looked this guy straight in his face and said, “I’m looking forward to sleeping in and going to bed at a decent hour. I don’t have to worry about servers crashing or data issues.” That seemed to shut him up.
“How about we go out for lunch? The whole team.” Tim was still trying to make himself feel better. It just wasn’t working for me.
I didn’t have much of an appetite. I was pretty worried about my future, but I wasn’t going to let this jerk know. “Sure. That sounds great,” I said.
Sue from HR walked in all smiles and bubbly. “Hi, Terry,” she greeted me as she sat down next to me. She pulled spdown her skirt, so she didn’t expose more than just her legs. She handed me a manila envelope. “I’m so sorry we’re losing you. You have been a great asset. We know you’ll do fine.”
I wondered if she was referring to the royal ‘we.’ “You do know I’m old,” I reminded her. “It’s going to be impossible for me to get a job.”
“Well then the packet I just gave you should make you feel better,” she said patting my hand as she took the folder back. “You have five weeks of vacation and twelve weeks of severance pay, one for each year you worked here. And your paycheck for this week. That should give you a lot of time to find something. You also get Cobra for 18 months and career counseling for a month …”
There wasn’t a hint of compassion in her voice. I wanted to grab the packet and tell her I could read the rest of it, but decided that I might need her help in the future. She was all business. The pain lasted another ten minutes until I was alone with Tim.
“Do you need help packing?” he asked.
I wanted to be around him less, not more. But I figured he needed to watch that I didn’t take anything that was company property. “No. If you need to supervise me, that’s fine. I’ll pack my stuff now and throw it in the car.”
I could see that Tim was relieved. I was getting more pissed off but did my best not to show it. Why didn’t he stick up for me? I wondered. I didn’t think he was quite cut out for this line of work. It had shown when they hired him less than three months ago. Or maybe it was sour grapes. The ride home was very teary. I cried almost the whole way home but didn’t tell anyone. It already felt shameful that I didn’t have a job. I had planned to retire at seventy. I had just turned sixty-four. Sixty-four. They didn’t love me at sixty-four. Why does everyone my age think of that song when you’re sixty-four?
I stopped at the supermarket for some essentials before I went home. I skipped the produce section and the next few aisles. I found the chips and salsa – and the ranch dip. Down the aisle, I found a family size package of Oreos that I pondered taking home with me. It eventually made it into my cart. My last stop was the frozen aisle. I picked up a pint of white chocolate raspberry truffle and was satisfied I had dinner covered. I was almost at the checkout when I realized I had forgotten something. I returned to the frozen section and grabbed a pint of chocolate peanut butter and pineapple coconut.
I was glad the next day was Saturday, but then realized it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going back to work, probably ever. I decided to sign up for unemployment on Monday. With that and the money I got from my company, well, former company, I would be financially set for almost a year before I had to break into my savings.
That night I fell asleep on the couch, after having scooped up all the salsa and ranch dip with the chips. I almost made it through the whole pint of White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle ice cream. I saved the cookies for breakfast.
Three weeks after I was laid off, I still felt miserable. I haven’t been able to figure out what to do with myself. My husband left me years ago, and my kids are gone. I loved my job, and now that’s gone, too. I have nothing to do or look forward to. I don’t even know what day it is. Every day is the same. Thursday could be Sunday for all I know.
Chapter 2
Weeks went by and things had not improved. I woke up groggy every morning after staying up most of the night playing video games. Today was Sunday morning. I was sure it was. I looked at my iPad. It was Monday. I was close. I rolled out of bed, showered for the first time in days and put on a pair of blue jeans and the top tee-shirt in my drawer. By 9:15 that morning, I had finished breakfast and desperately needed something to do.
The six months of unemployment wasn’t going to last forever and then I’d have to go through my savings. Time to look for a job, seriously. I had some recent leads. My sister-in-law said they were looking for a Database Administrator at her company. Then there were the temp agencies that I had worked with in the past. That would be a good place to start, but I didn’t.
It had now been two months since my layoff and depression was starting to take effect. I needed to get out of the house, get some fresh air and eat something healthy. If I left now, I would be able to arrive at Safeway before the bus from the East Bay Retirement Home with all the white-haired senior citizens. I hated the way they moved so slowly, leaning on their shopping cars for support, chit-chatting with their current aide and taking up a good part of the aisles. At the check-out counter, they shared their personal lives with anyone who would listen. It was so annoying when I used the self-checkout lines. By the time I got home, I was usually too irritated to do anything useful – at least that was my excuse.
I had read that the healthiest place to start shopping was in the produce department. I loaded up on vegetables and salad stuff to try out a great recipe for olive oil, balsamic vinegar and other herbs and spices that I had seen online. As I was trying to remember the difference between parsley and Italian parsley, I heard an unfamiliar voice call my name.
I spotted my sultry neighbor, Erica, pushing a full cart towards me. Her brown almond shaped eyes had me locked in her sight.
“You’re here early,” I said to her, wondering if the gray streak in her hair was hers or paid for at the salon.
“I’m getting some last minute things for a barbecue today,” she said picking up a bunch of Italian parsley without even thinking. “This makes a great sauté when mixed with garlic butter and lemon.”
“Mmmm,” I said, making a mental note about her suggestion.
“Are you free today around four? Hannah and I would love to have you at our barbecue,” she asked.
“What’s the occasion?” I asked, looking at all the chicken, steaks, and vegi-burgers in her cart.
Erika chuckled. “Memorial Day, silly.”
“Oh. Yeah,” I said. It wasn’t my fault I didn’t know. I had no reference to holidays. But why not go? I had absolutely nothing else to do. “What can I bring?”
“Nothing. Just yourself. We live across the street from each other, and we barely know you. I think we should change that.”
“And maybe being around people would help me get out of this funk,” I thought to myself and said, “Great. See you later.”
I tossed the Italian parsley into my cart.
******
I watched from my front window as Erika’s guests arrived. I disliked being the first person at a party and waited until 4:25 to leave the house with a bottle of wine as my plus-one. I preferred going to someone’s house with something in my hand.
The smell of the barbecue lured me to Erika’s backyard even though the sound of people in conversation made me nervous. The layoff had finally affected my self-esteem, but I vowed to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back to living. I walked through the gate and into the backyard. My clothes fit more snug after eating all that junk food, but I thought I still looked good.
“Terry. I’m so glad you’re here.” Erika came up to me and hooked her arm through mine.
“Thanks for inviting me,” I said, handing her the wine. “I love your garden and all the fruit trees. Who takes care of it?” I asked.
“I do. I find working outside very relaxing,” she said, guiding me to the food table. “I love being able to go out the back door and get fresh fruits and vegetables. We also have an herb garden next to the cottage over there.” Erika pointed to a secluded area towards the far side of the yard.
“That cottage is adorable. Does someone live there?”
“No. That’s my studio,” she said. “I’m an artist and wanted a place where I could paint without anyone disturbing me. Hannah and I built it together.”
“Really? The two of you built it yourselves? That must have been hard.”
Erika smirked. “We’re a couple of lesbians with a credit card for Home Depot and a tool box that any carpenter would drool over. The hardest part was the permit.”
I was impressed. “What do you paint?”
“I’m currently working on a series of where we’re standing.”
Hey, Mom.” A young man rushed up to Erika and said, “Where should I put the ice?”
“Over by the drinks, honey,” Erika said as she ran back to get the ice and then called after him, “Can you sell hello to Terry, EJ?”
He did a 360-degree turn as he said, “Hi, Terry.”
I waved back to him half-way around the turn. “He’s getting so big.”
“And growing,” Erika said. “I need to see how Hannah’s doing in the kitchen. Please fill up a plate, mingle and enjoy yourself.”
The choices were as I expected. All healthy. No wonder Erika stayed trim and fit. “Excuse me,” a man’s voice said. “Didn’t you use to go to the Unitarian Church on Harbor?”
I turned to see a face that I hadn’t seen in quite a while. “Yes. My family used to go there.” I held out my hand. “I’m Terry Washington.”
“Adam Sheffield,” he said shaking my hand. “I thought I recognized you when you walked in. Are you here with your husband? What was his name? Wait. I remember. Louis.”
“We’re divorced,” I said without going into any detail. “And you?”
“My wife passed away a few years ago. My son, his wife and their three kids moved in with me. The house was too big for one person. My daughter-in-law is a great cook, and they get a built-in babysitter.”
My thoughts went back to the time we went to church as a family. I loved the community, but after Louis had left, I never went again. I remembered Adam. He had aged so well, as most men do; distinguished looking with his salt and pepper hair and mustache, trim but muscular in his well-pressed tee-shirt and a great smile that showed off his laugh lines around his eyes. “So what do you do for fun, Adam?”
“I play golf, go to the gym, hiking, stuff like that. Just enjoying my life, I guess. After taking care of my wife during her battle with cancer, I decided to enjoy every day of the rest of my life because you just don’t know when it’s your turn to go.”
“You must have a lot of energy.” I guessed he was retired and liked it. I wondered if I would ever be happy without a job to go to every day.
“And what do you do?” he asked, taking a swig from a bottle of Corona.
“My company laid me off not too long ago, and I’m in the process of answering that question for myself. So far, no ideas. I would love to go back to work, but at my age, I might need to retire.”
“Your age?” Adam asked. “Do you even qualify for AARP?”
I’m sure I blushed. “That’s sweet, but yes.”
“May I suggest you join us tomorrow night at our Senior Singles group? It’s a volunteer group that helps out in the community. We meet every week at the church for a potluck, lots of conversation and sometimes plan group activities such as going to the movies or hiking. The best part is that I get out of the house and enjoy myself with people my age.”
“It sounds like fun, but my life is so up in the air. I don’t think I can commit to anything right now.”
“Oh, come at least one time before you say no. We’re not a bunch of old fogies. We’re older adults who want to live life.”
Before I could answer, Erika strolled over to us with a few men following behind her and asked, “How are you guys doing? Do you need anything?”
“Everything is perfect,” Adam said moving uncomfortably close to me. “I just invited Terry to our group tomorrow night.”
“Great. I’m so glad we’ll be seeing more of you. Let’s go, fellas,” Erika said before leaving with her flock of admirers behind her.
I wondered if this barbecue should be labeled Erika’s Matchmaking Services.
Chapter 3
Sitting at the kitchen counter, I drank my coffee while munching on the best blueberry scone I ever had. My thoughts ran to yesterday’s barbecue. Erika sure had a lot of talents. The food was great, but the dessert table was to die for. It was still a mystery how she stayed so slim given her skills in the kitchen. I hadn’t seen much of Hannah. Erika socialized with the guests and Hannah made sure the food and beverages were plentiful.
I felt alive for the first time since the layoff. Maybe even before that. My social life had been almost non-existent for many years. I rarely got together with anyone outside of work except for the occasional office parties the company sponsored. Surprisingly, I was looking forward to going to the Senior Singles group tonight. Then I shocked myself even more. I had the urge to go shopping for some clothes that would be more appropriate for my new casual lifestyle and maybe even get a new hairdo. Maybe what Adam said made me think. I’m going to enjoy every day for the rest of my life. So I grabbed my credit cards and headed for the door.
My first stop was at the hair salon. Lucky for me, Mimi had a cancellation and could take me immediately. I told her I needed a change. After a few suggestions, shampoo, some highlights and a cut, I walked out looking younger than an hour earlier. Strangely, I felt more energetic. Maybe my attitude improved since there was less gray showing. Whatever it was, I felt good.
It was nice shopping at the mall during the middle of the day. Parking was a breeze; there were no lines at the registers or any teenagers hanging around. And I ran into another streak of luck with a great sale at my favorite store. It was time for an interim wardrobe while I lost the weight that I had gained in the last month.
Just thinking of my weight made my stomach growl. I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, and it was going on three. The food area was not a great place for a diet, but I was determined to make it work. I skipped the Cinnabon, the potatoes with the fixings, fast food burgers, and pizza. I found a restaurant with a salad bar that looked yummy and chose olive oil and balsamic vinegar as the dressing. I gave myself a virtual pat on the back.
******
Anxiety set in when I stood outside the church doors. The memories started flooding in of the times that I spent here with my family. The good times were great. We were a model family until Felicia hit puberty. Her acting out, especially at church, were particularly embarrassing. I remembered her standing up during a service and yelling out that the congregation was wasting their time and walked out. Or the time that she started singing during a reading. It took less than a year of these outbursts to shame us into leaving the community. At the same time, her irrational behavior hastened the end of my marriage. We didn’t know how to handle her. It seems like a lifetime ago.
“Hey, there. I am so glad you’re here,” Adam said. “Hey, did you get your hair done? It looks very nice.”
I was surprised he noticed. “Thank you.”
“Ready to go in?” he said with a smile.
I felt myself blush for the second day in a row. “Sure.”
The familiar smell of the church made my head spin. I was glad to be with Adam. He opened the door to a large gym with a stage that doubles as a social hall. There must have been about fifty or sixty people there. That’s a lot of senior singles.
“Hi everyone,” Adam said stepping forward slightly. “This is Terry.”
I waved my hand to everyone. “Hi.”
People greeted me with ‘hi’s and ‘hello’s’.
A stocky woman with short gray hair in khaki pants and black button-down shirt stood on the stage, clapped her hands and said, “Come on, people. Let’s get this party started.”
Everyone sat down in the chairs in front of the stage. Adam guided me to a row in the middle.
“Hey, Charley,” said a voice from the front row. “Don’t forget we need a new secretary. Phil isn’t here tonight, but he is moving in with his daughter in Fresno next month.”
“Thank you, Barb. Any volunteers?”
No one raised their hand.
“Okay then. Think about this, people. We still have some time. It isn’t a difficult job. I don’t have much else to say. Dave isn’t here tonight, but he told me that the grant got approved to buy computer equipment and software. Now we need someone to run the damn thing. Any volunteers?”
Again, there were no volunteers. For a group of volunteers, there wasn’t much volunteering going on.
“Maybe you can volunteer,” a woman’s voice said from the row behind me. I turned around to see Hannah, Erika’s wife. I was surprised to see her.
“I hear the group needs a database to keep track of members, committees, who’s on them, skills and all that kind of stuff. I also heard that’s right up your alley.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked. I had spoken with Hannah only briefly yesterday as she tried to make her rounds. She wasn’t as comfortable being social as Erika is. “You’re not single.”
“I know. And I’m a few years from 50. My company develops products for home safety using the latest technology, so I’m here as a speaker. In fact, I just heard Charley call my name to come up. Talk to you soon.”
Hannah took to the stage and gave a fascinating job on using technology. I had never heard of some of the products before. I was certainly impressed. People gathered around her for more information after she finished. Others were moving tables and chairs around into small circles.
“What’s everyone doing now?” I asked Adam.
“It’s time for committees to meet. That group over there is knitting hats for cancer patients. And that one over there is for a community cleanup. Next to them are companions for shut-ins. Other groups include visiting the sick and elderly, the historical society for the neighborhood, meals for the homeless, and teaching computer skills to baby-boomers. Dave usually does that.”
“That’s a lot of volunteering,” I said.
“Then there are some informal social groups such as hiking, biking, bird watching, wine tasting, and probably a lot of other things. There is even a motorcycle group – jackets and all.”
“Okay. That’s not my kind of activity,” I said. “And what do you like to do?”
“I play the guitar and sing at the nursing homes in the area,” he said waving at a couple just walking in. “They love songs from their childhood and sing along with me. Socially, I play golf with a few people from here.”
“Sounds like fun,” I said. “I’m going to have to give joining Senior Singles some serious consideration.”
“You won’t be disappointed,” he said looking past me and nodding his head to the same couple. “I’ve got to talk to some friends. But first I wanted to ask you if we could meet for coffee. Maybe this Friday?”
Adam took me by surprise. But why not? I was at a social group for singles. “Sure. That would be nice.”
“Great. I’ll meet you at the Rock Stop at ten.”
This was the part of being in a big group that makes me uncomfortable. Do I stand there? Leave? Find someone to talk to? Then I saw Barb walking towards me.
“Hi. I’m Barb,” she said extending her hand to me.
“Terry,” I said shaking her hand.
“So what do you think? I hope you’re coming back. I hear you have some computer skills. That’s unusual for Baby-Boomers.”
“Yeah. I did get in on the bottom floor. All my jobs have been in the hi-tech business. So, uh, sure I’d love to help out,” I said without really considering if this was a commitment I wanted to make.
A smile grew on Barb’s face. “Great. You’ll love it here. Can I introduce you around?”
“Well, I had my eye on the women knitting in the corner. It had been a long time since I had knitted and thought that it would be fun to join the knitting group.”
“Let’s go. And by the way, don’t be surprised if your knitting and purling next to a man.”
Now it was my turn to smile.
“Hi, everyone,” Barb said to the knitting group. “This is Terry. It’s her first time here.”
I waved and was greeted with a chorus of hellos.
“It’s been a long time since I knitted. Mind if I sit with you?”
“What did you knit?” A woman with big black glasses that covered most of her face asked.
“Mostly sweaters and afghans. I still have some of them. My kids and husband liked them.”
“We’re making hats for cancer patients. The pattern is not difficult. Join us.”
I sat down, and big black glasses gave me some needles from her bag, some wool, and the pattern. It didn’t look difficult and within five minutes, I was making hats. It was fun. I had forgotten how relaxing knitting was. It was nice. Before I knew it, it was time to go.
“Take it with you,” Big glasses said. “Maybe you’ll come back next week.”
“I plan to. Thanks. This evening has been so relaxing.”
I looked around and didn’t see Adam. As I left, Hannah came up beside me.
“What did you think of my talk?” Hannah asked.
“Pretty impressive. How did you get so involved in the high tech security field?”
“I used to work as a data analyst for the FBI, so I have a lot of security background. And then, after I experienced a home invasion years ago, I decided it was time to do something about it. So I started developing some products, bought some materials from Marker Shed, created a website, and I was in business. I also consult to law enforcement agencies around the country.”
“Wow. That sounds great.”
“Yeah. It makes getting up in the morning easier if you like what you do.”
I was impressed that Hannah was able to turn a bad situation into a positive life decision. Maybe it was time for me to create a new career for myself.
Chapter 4
It was nice to lie on the couch early in the morning, knitting another hat. The sun shone in, warming the room to the perfect temperature. I hadn’t turned on the television for a couple of days and loved the peace and quiet. And I hadn’t surfed the web for, well, hours. Did clicking on a link in an email message count? And I did have to wish my college roommate a Happy Birthday on Facebook. The main thing is I didn’t play that video game even once. I looked at my laptop. Maybe one game. No. One game leads to another. I tossed down the knitting. “I’m going to take a walk to the store,” I said out loud. I knew that eating healthy means fresh foods. And I could use the exercise.
I started off at a brisk pace, noticing the changes in the neighborhood since Louis and I bought our house. The day we came here was much like today. We drove by the for sale sign a few times, trying to get a feel for who our neighbors would be. It was also important that the schools be top notch, and our commutes to work wouldn’t kill us.
The real estate agent had greeted us at the door, showing us into a small but quaint four-bedroom house built in the 1940’s. The bedrooms weren’t too big, but it suited us, anticipating the birth of our first child in a few months. One of the features the agent pointed out was two full baths and a half bath in the unfinished basement. There was a big backyard with fruit trees and a place for a garden and possibly a play area for children. I loved the family room off the kitchen and the deck in back. I imagined us having barbecues. The rating of the schools was excellent, and we were in walking distance to public transportation, stores, and a lot of restaurants. The decision to buy the house was comfortable.
We fell in love with the house and put a bid on it which the owner accepted within a few days. A month later we moved in. The area is relatively safe and quiet. I knew my neighbors from a distance, that is, until yesterday. I haven’t lived anywhere else since, nor did I want to move from here. The day that Louis moved out of the house was the last day I saw him. He never looked back, acting as if our life together never happened. I found that so sad to think that he was that cold and then wondered how I didn’t know how shallow he was until we had been married for almost twenty years.
Market Bowl was just a few blocks from home and a pleasant walk. I had forgotten how much I loved to shop here when I took pleasure in making meals for my family. As home life became more challenging, the kids disappeared around dinner time to be with their friends and after school activities. Before Louis moved out, he worked late or went to his favorite bar instead of coming home. Sometimes I didn’t even make dinner.
Tonight would be different. There were many choices of fruits and vegetables at Market Bowl. Everything was fresh. I bought what I needed for a fresh salad today and fruit for the week. Even the cheese, meat, and fish looked so appetizing I couldn’t resist buying a piece of salmon and some feta to add to the salad. Life was finally working out for me. I felt invigorated.
“Hi again,” I heard behind me.
“Are you guys stalking me?” I asked Hannah and laughed. “Today you, a couple of days ago I bumped into Erika.”
“It’s fate. You’ve been like a recluse for years, and now you’re all over the place.”
“It seems that way. I guess not working does make me more available during the day. And what’s your excuse for being out and about at this hour?”
“I rent an office in the neighborhood. It’s very convenient, and I get to participate in the kid’s daily lives.”
I knew that being in the tech business allowed for a lot of flexibility. I often worked from home – when I was working. I felt a pit in my stomach as I wondered what my former co-workers were doing now. “Sounds great. Are you going back to work now?”
“Nope,” Hannah said, taking out a notebook and pen from her large purse. “I belong to a writing group. I find it’s an excellent way to deal with the stresses of life.”
“What are you writing about?” I asked, imagining what it would be like to become a writer.
“Crime stories,” she said. “I love beating up the bad guy. Come with me and find out for yourself. It’s open to everyone, and we have a fun time.”
It didn’t take long for me to give Hannah an answer. “I’d love to come with you. I used to write stories when I was in high school. Some of my stuff was pretty good, too. I submitted one of my pieces in a contest and won.”
“Great. Let’s put the groceries away, and we can walk over to the Silver Star. They let us hang out at the back table in the back between 10 and 11. Don’t forget a laptop or notepad and pen for writing.”
*****
“So what else do you do for fun and games?” I asked Hannah, as we walked to the local eatery. She seemed to have a diverse interest in activities.
“Let’s see. I like reading, coaching Little League softball, going on trips with my bike club and playing Mah Jong. I also volunteer at my synagogue and run the computer club at the high school.”
“I’m almost sorry I asked. You put me to shame.” She was very active, more than I’d ever be. Then it hit me. “Bike Club? Like motorcycles?”
“That’s right. We call ourselves the Tripping Ladies ‘cause we go on trips. Do you get it? I think it’s a catchy name.”
“Wow. You don’t look like a biker.” Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say.
Hannah opened the door for us and let out a belly laugh. “You wouldn’t believe the members we have. From young women in their twenties to grannies in their 80’s. It’s fun, and it keeps me out of the house. What do you do for fun?”
“Nothing until the other night. I started knitting. And now I’m going to write the Great American Novel.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” she said as we got to a table with three women and two men. Everyone had their laptops out.
I put mine down at an empty seat as Hannah introduced me and explained how the group works. “Everyone brings in a piece they wrote during the week, reads it to us and we then critique it. It can be a short story or part of something longer. For a warm up, we bring in pictures that we use as writing prompts and write for fifteen minutes.”
Six pictures would put on the table. I picked the one of a convertible from the fifties. It reminded me of a time when I was clearing out my parent’s house. Louis had a huge convertible with fins, and we put all my books in the car. All the stories were interesting and well-written. I was embarrassed to read mine out loud, but I figured that if I wanted to get better, I’d better be open to critiquing. I was very proud of myself. I enjoyed writing my story, and the feedback was very helpful and encouraging.
“So what did you think?” Hannah asked on our walk home.
“I loved it. Thank you so much for suggesting that I join you today.”
“I take it you’ll be joining us then?”
“If that’s okay, I’d love to.”
“We’ve been looking for another writer to join us,” Hannah said. “I liked your story and thought you’d be a great fit.”
“You all are such good writers. I’m not sure I’m as good as you guys. I don’t know how to write except for what I learned in school. And I don’t even know what to write about.”
“It’ll all come back. Don’t worry,” Hannah said. “And just write about what you know. Create interesting characters and dialogue. If you need help or advice, we can help you.”
“I’m going to try because I loved writing and want to try it again. I guess I can write about working in the high tech field regarding a romance or spoof or suspense, but that’s been done so often. Maybe a kid’s book about computers coming alive or saving a child.”
There you go,” Hannah said. “That’s the way you start. Just brainstorm ideas. You’ll find something you want to write about.”
We stopped in front of my house. “Thanks. If I don’t see you before, I’ll see you next week.”
Hannah waved goodbye. I walked in the house feeling great. It was so nice to be social and relate to people that I don’t work with. But it still felt weird.
Chapter 5
Today was a lazy day. I laid in bed thinking that maybe retirement wasn’t so bad. Not that I considered my bank account, but I still had time just to kick back and relax for a while. I was falling back to sleep when my phone rang.
“Hello?” I said, probably sounding a little startled.
“Hey, Terry. This is Suresh. How are you?”
I was so happy to hear from my former co-worker. I had wondered if he missed me as much as I missed our daily contact. “Suresh! Hi. I’m fine. Gosh, I miss you. How’s it going?”
“Good, good. No. Not really. I need a big favor from you.”
I had interviewed Suresh and recommended that the company hire him. I also gave him lots of advice in his personal life. “Sure. What do you need?” I asked, knowing I’d never say ‘no’ to him.
“One of the systems you worked on for Steve has an error message, and I don’t know what to do.”
That was not what I was expecting from him. “Uh, I’ll try to answer it, but I’m not sure if I’ll remember without my notes. If my computer hasn’t been wiped clean, the documentation should still be there. Wait. Didn’t I give it to you?”
“Yeah. I have it, but I still need help. Maybe we can meet for lunch today.”
I missed our weekly Friday lunches at Uncle Wong’s but was happy to go on a Thursday. “Sure. I’ll meet you. Same spot?”
“Yup. Can we meet at 12:30?”
“Sure. See you then.”
I was feeling more energized knowing that I was going to have lunch with my little buddy. That’s how I saw him even though he was not little, just younger. The rest of the morning I spent with the vacuum cleaner, scrub bubbles, and other disinfectants as I cleaned the house.
******
I arrived at the restaurant a little early.
The owner, Kathy, greeted me with a smile. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you for a while.”
“The company decided they didn’t need me anymore, so I’m at home,” I said, thinking that I would like to hang out with Suresh here every month or so. She sat me at our regular table.
“Just you or your friend will be here?” she asked.
Suresh walked in, answering her question. Since we weren’t working together anymore, I thought it was appropriate and safe to give him a hug.
“I knew you couldn’t live without me,” I teased him.
The owner came over to get our order without even giving us menus. “The regular?” Kathy asked us.
We both answered a ‘yes’ in unison.
“You can’t believe what a mess everything is. Our contractors were let go just last week. There is no support from our European team. And Tim walked out this morning.”
“Just walked out?” I asked. He was the last person I thought would leave the company. He had been such a “yes” man.
“Just walked out. He was escorted out. Maya from HR called him into her office when he got in, and he left screaming, cursing and threatening her. It was ugly.”
“Yikes. Do you know why the powers that be let Tim go?” I always thought that Tim was part of the upper echelon of the boy’s club; otherwise known as management. Most of the managers were between 25 and 40 at most and all of them white and male. Maybe Tim aged out?
“They’re moving his position to Dallas. He didn’t even get an offer to refuse.”
“I doubt he would have gone if they wanted him to.” Tim’s children were very active in school activities and sports.
“Well, do they have anyone in mind to replace him from that office?”
“Yeah. There’s a new guy that just started there. I hear he’s pretty young.”
“Sounds about right for this company,” I said, glad I wasn’t part of this craziness.”
“So will you help me? I had asked Tim before he saw Maya and said ‘no’, but he’s not here anymore. We can pretend just here for a visit.”
I had almost forgotten why I was here. “You know I’m not going to leave you in the lurch. It will be fun to see everyone.”
*****
It seemed like I hadn’t been in that office since forever, but it had been less than two months. I walked around talking to everyone until we got to Suresh’s desk. He showed me the problem. I sat at the keyboard while he shielded me from view. It felt so good to be troubleshooting again. All it took was a search of the database log found a network permission issue that was blocking the data from being sent to one of the modules.
“I knew you would find it quickly,” Suresh said. “I don’t know why they let you go.”
“Well, I think it’s because the powers that be are sexist and ageist. And if I weren’t white, I’d probably have one more nail in my coffin.”
“Yeah. That does seem to be the way it is.” Suresh was busy taking notes of what I did and said, “Do you know what would help me? Some more of your excellent documentation. We’re so bad here because Tim never budgeted the time even though he thought it was vital.”
“That can be problematic,” I said. “I’d need to get onto the system to do that, and no one is going to give me access with permission from the high ups.”
“I’m going to check with Mike,” Suresh said. “He’s a director and might have the authority to hire you for a few days.”
“That’s fine. I’m around.”
“He’s traveling for business in Ireland for a few weeks and is taking some time off while he’s in there before he comes home.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “I’ll still be around unless something drastic happens.”
Suresh walked me to my car. “I’m going to work on getting you back here. Are you looking anywhere else yet?”
“No,” I said. I’m just getting out of my funk and learning to deal with being jobless. I haven’t looked for a job yet. I’m still taking it easy and learning to be a sloth while collecting unemployment.”
“It was incredible to see you. We need to do this again soon,” Suresh said giving me a hug.
“How about next month?” I asked. “We can have a monthly date.”
“I’d like that. I’ll text you with a date.”
*****
I felt so good to be at the office. I was going to start earnestly looking for a job soon. I’m just going to wait until Mike gets back and decides if they want to hire me as a contractor for a little while. I would love that. Working was so much a part of my life for so long. Now I was going to suffer through withdrawal again.
When I walked into the house, it felt so empty again. Depression started to set in again. I hoped that Suresh could convince Mike that they should hire me. After today’s visit, not going to work was painfully hard. The last few days of going out and socializing, finding activities that I could do on my own and others and possibly – dare I think it – might start dating. I hadn’t been out with a man, on a date, since I’m not sure when. Maybe a few years after Louis moved out.
Walking into the kitchen, I pulled out a pot, poured in oil, turned on the burner, and soon added the popcorn. A few minutes later I brought a big bowl of popcorn into the family room, turned on the TV, and finished the whole bowl of popcorn by the end of a rerun of Bones.
*****
The ring of the phone startled me out of a deep sleep. Law & Order was playing on the TV. I didn’t answer my cell phone in time, but Caller ID said it was my sister. My head felt fuzzy as it usually does when I fall asleep in the middle of the day. A nice cold glass of orange juice helped me wake up.
The phone rang again. “Hi, Bonnie. Sorry, I didn’t answer the first time. I was sleeping.”
“Uh oh. Are you okay? It isn’t like you to nap during the day. It isn’t like you not to answer.”
“Yeah. I’m okay. My not working situation just got to me today. I had lunch with my friend from work and realized how much I still miss going to work. It defined who I was. Now I feel worthless like I have no purpose in life.”
“Oh, trust me. You’re doing fine. In fact, you should be grateful you were laid off. You worked too hard and never took a break. Your life belongs to you, not the company. Listen to someone who knows. After my heart attack, I had to slow down. I was a workaholic too. Maybe even worse than you. Now I get to spend time with Tom and the kids. They are so happy to have me home. I have a part-time job at the bookstore around the corner to get me out of the house a few hours a day and then the rest of the day is mine. I am so much happier than I used to be.”
“You’re very lucky. Well, not the heart attack part. That was too touch and go. But you’re happy not working. I hope I can get there, too.”
“You will,” Bonnie assured me. “Just give it time.”
I heard Bonnie’s phone alert her of another phone call coming in. “That’s Tom. Call me soon and let’s do something. We can go to the movies in the middle of the day. That is amazing. No lines, no kids. Bye.”
Good suggestion, I thought. It would be fun. Bonnie didn’t drive still. Doctor’s orders. I could pick her up and spend time with her. We weren’t close growing up, but her heart attack made me realize that I might lose my only sibling, and that was something I wasn’t able to handle.
And maybe Bonnie can help me figure out how to get out of this depression and not fall back into it. Maybe I needed to consider socializing more. This week gave me plenty of opportunities. Today was Thursday, but it could be Sunday.
Chapter 6
The problem with watching TV at night is that it stays on after you fall asleep. There is the Sleep button, but that means you have to anticipate you’re going to fall asleep and use the button.
I woke up to a conversation about women in the tech field. The central question the blond bombshell facilitator wanted to know was where had all the women gone, when did they disappear and why. Well, I could tell them where one of them went. I turned the volume up.
“… and in the 80’s, the home PC was born, and the computer manufacturers marketed this new “boy” toy to men. Women learned how to program them but did not have much interest them other than that.”
Another speaker on the program spoke up. “Look. Introductory computer classes at that time had more women than men. They were better programmers because they were more detailed oriented. But as they got into the workforce, they didn’t get the opportunities that the men had. Today we have fewer women in the tech field and a small percentage are developers.”
The first woman continued. “According to a recent study, we know that the average age of the Silicon Valley worker is 26, and demographically they are a white male, awkward around women, and single, eats his meals at the company cafeteria. He lives with minimal furniture in a small apartment. The only thing in the refrigerator is beer and all the other appliances in the kitchen look brand new. There are no pictures on the wall, and he owns many electronic devices. You’d be hard pressed to find many women at most Silicon Valley startups.”
Click. I didn’t want to watch my industry veer off to a dimension I didn’t know anymore. Fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants design of games that wouldn’t last more than a couple of years unless the owners had the foresight to take the company to a new level.
Everything was clickable nowadays. Everyone wanted to be the best apps, make a buck, and sell their business to the highest bidder. CEO’s watched their sales figures fluctuate in real-time. Marketing became disruptive. There were server farms all over the world with more information than CTO’s knew how to analyze that would add value to their company. I’m sure that there are many products, services, and people that away thrown away by businesses because it doesn’t make enough money.
Oh well. I guess I am just an old relic. I wanted to continue to feel sorry for myself, but my, er, date with Adam was a few hours away, and I thought I should do something to make myself look presentable. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. After all, it was just coffee.
I couldn’t get my mind off the idea that women had almost disappeared from the tech industry, feeling there was going to be a backlash in Silicon Valley with such a homogeneous group of people influencing the future. My area of expertise taught me that data was gold. Analyzing all that information and selling it back to a company was old news. But these young CFO’s probably knew nothing about that.
It was an interesting idea. But I had to leave now to get to the Rock Stop. Adam would be there soon, and I didn’t want to keep him waiting.
*****
The Rock Stop was an interesting place. The owner had been a professor at Berkeley in anthropology. He used to go on digs all over the world and had collected unusual items; he displays them in his restaurant. I thought that was brilliant. It’s like going to a museum while having your morning coffee or lunch. They were closed for dinner.
Adam waved me over to his table by the window. The waiter handed us menus and walked away. “I like it here,” I said to Adam. “The morning crowd is at work by now, and the lunch bunch won’t be here for another couple of hours.”
“Yes. That’s why I like to come here at this time. I like to bring my newspaper and fill out the crossword puzzle.”
“Do you use ink or pencil?”
“Pencil still,” he said. ”But I think I’m almost ready to upgrade to a pen.
The waiter returned with our waters. Adam and I both had a regular coffee with pastry. An indulgence I will probably never give up.
“So what’s new with you since I last saw you?” I asked.
“Not much. My life is pretty humdrum. Same thing every day.”
Did he like a humdrum life? Same thing every day? How can anyone do that?
“And you? Anything exciting in your neck of the woods?”
“No. Not really. I did go visit some of my former co-workers, got some juicy gossip, helped solve a problem and then got totally depressed.” I couldn’t believe I had said that.
“Why was that depressing? It sounds like it was fun.”
“Yes. It was fun. That’s why it’s depressing. I don’t get to do that every day like I used to, and I miss it. I feel worthless. Don’t you find that to be the case?”
“No,” he said emphatically. “I’ve put in my time at the office, and I don’t want to do that anymore. Now I spend time with my family, putter around the house, do what I want when I want to and take lovely women out for coffee in the middle of the day.
“It sounds ideal when you say it like that. Maybe there’s hope for me.”
“You’ll get used to it, I’m sure. You just need to tame your adrenaline rush requirement and relax.”
Wow. How did Adam know me so well? “I’ll have to keep an eye on you and watch carefully. What are you doing this afternoon?”
“Picking up my granddaughter from day camp. Maybe I’ll take her out for an ice cream and then the movies. I like to do something special on Friday’s with her.”
That’s a clever way to do childcare. Bribe her and then treat her. I can learn a lot from you.”
“In fact, it’s an early dismissal day. I need to leave.” Adam waved to the waiter for the check and took out a credit card from his wallet. “I’d like to call you for a real date if that’s okay.”
“I have to admit; this was fun.” When the waiter returned with Adam’s credit card, I wrote my number on the back of the receipt. Adam put the credit card and the receipt in his wallet. I wondered if he was going to call or would I anxiously waiting for him to call. At least with cell phones, I wouldn’t have to sit at home waiting for the call.
We walked out together. He went to socialize and I returned to an empty house.
*****
On my walk home, the discussion about women in the tech industry popped into my head. I had a lot to say about my experiences as being the only woman in the computer department with a bunch of weird guys. But who would listen? Maybe I can use that as a topic for writing? I could write a book about my experiences. Or I can blog about my tech life. Maybe I could influence girls and young women to change the current situation.
The first thing I did when I walked into the house was to get my laptop and start writing. After an hour, I had written about five hundred words about how many female programmers there used to be and now there are virtually none. It sounded okay, but not great. It wasn’t exciting like I normally read online. Maybe I should take classes. I wondered if there were any online and decided to some research.
There were plenty of courses on writing, how to submit your story to online magazines, creating online courses from your book, creating an online author platform, freelancing and so much more. It made my head spin. Then there were a ton of books on writing; structure, creating memorable characters, location, plot, and a whole slew of other topics that I didn’t understand. I closed my laptop and called Hannah.
*****
“Come on in,” I said to Hannah. “I don’t want to take too much of your time. I know you’re busy and I should wait until the next writing group, but …”
“Don’t worry about it. I needed a break, so I’m happy to be here.”
We sat at the dining room table. I brought over a couple of iced teas while Hannah read my article. She laughed when she got to the end.
“Boy, I totally agree with this. I think it’s great. But I see what you mean about coming across flat. So here’s my advice. Write it as if you’re telling me the story. You wouldn’t just tell me the facts, but what your experience was like. Describe who you were, how employers treated you, and how you felt, the places you worked, stuff like that. For an article, create a question and answer it. Interview other women. I’d be happy to tell you my story.”
“Wow. You make it sound simple,” I was certainly `encouraged.
“Don’t be so impressed,” she said. “I’ve never done this before, but that is what I learned in the writing group. I suggest you write this piece again and bring it with you next week.”
“I will. Thanks.”
“What do you plan on doing with this article?” Hannah asked. “You know you can write a whole series on this topic.”
I thought about the suggestion and felt overwhelmed. “I wrote this without thinking about what I can do with it, and I haven’t considered writing more than this one. Any ideas?”
Hannah nodded. “Make a list of questions you think other people might ask. Each one is an article. And then you can submit them to magazines or post them on your website.”
“All of that is so new to me. I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m probably not ready to submit them anyplace.”
“Then create a website. I’ll send you some information on how you can do that yourself. It should be a snap for you. If you need help, I can help you. And then, after you feel comfortable, you can learn how to get your articles read by anyone with an internet connection.”
“That sounds scary. There’s a ton of stuff on the web now. How is anyone going to find my website?”
“Oh, that’s where the real work is,” Hannah said. “You should also learn about digital marketing, SEO, content management, and a lot more. I’m not even going to tell you about monetizing your site.”
“What does that mean?” I asked. So many new skills. The light bulb went on. Now that I had all this time, I could create a new career for myself.
“You know what? I think you should concentrate on writing and not worry about anything else.”
“You are brilliant. I appreciate the advice. You have helped me more than you know.” My future started to look exciting.